Yee

(Source: realitytvgifs)

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

clannyphantom:

willsicott:

tuxedoandex:

ugly:

What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?

what

Guardians of the Galaxy

that makes them sound like theyre guarding something valuable

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why is it that every time i turn on the radio or change the station, anaconda is going off?

problemactic:

"drop down and give me 20!"

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teshima-junta:

do you ever look at your url and go “hell yeah”

(Source: teshima-junta)

There was a giant camel cricket on the wall and now it’s gone! I do not want you all to only call the cops, but to pray for me tonight as well.

diancie:

religiousdad:

imagine paying $750 for a url then getting deleted lmao

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drumcorpsdrawings:

I just wish people wanted to talk to me as much as I want to talk to them…

kaykonut:

being hella confident that you’ll do something well and then ya do it and ya fuck up

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(Source: kayrama)

ridjuan:

crrocs:

my mood depends on how fast my internet speed is

New favourite joke:

juliuscaesarofficial:

agathaheterodyne:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”

"Don’t you mean a martini?”

"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."

these are the best jokes ever

thepianogirl1:

amberbydreams:

quirkilicious:

talikira:

wholmesianmisfit:

Who remembers

Motherfucking Scholastic

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Book

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Orders

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And then the magical traveling circus of scholastic would randomly show up

at the motherfucking BOOK FAIR

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I seriously miss the book fair.

Wait, you mean these don’t exist anymore?

MOTHERFUCKINGTHESE

We even had them in Pakistan and they were a big hit.

Oh the good old days

(Source: pyralspite)

irenigg:

metrogoon:

If you’d rather go to a club than a museum, you deserve to be unhappy.

museum? what the fuck is in a museum? they got bitches in museums? alive bitches?