What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy
that makes them sound like theyre guarding something valuable
"drop down and give me 20!"
There was a giant camel cricket on the wall and now it’s gone! I do not want you all to only call the cops, but to pray for me tonight as well.
I just wish people wanted to talk to me as much as I want to talk to them…
being hella confident that you’ll do something well and then ya do it and ya fuck up
my mood depends on how fast my internet speed is
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”
i dont get it
No one explain it
After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”
"Don’t you mean a martini?”
"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."
these are the best jokes ever
And then the magical traveling circus of scholastic would randomly show up
at the motherfucking BOOK FAIR
I seriously miss the book fair.
Wait, you mean these don’t exist anymore?
We even had them in Pakistan and they were a big hit.
Oh the good old days